3 Practical Ways to Fight Self-Doubt When Scrolling
“Work on cultivating a healthy relationship with technology so that it’s not the ultimate culprit of perpetuating your insecurities.”
Photo by Janelle Pol
We’ve all been there — scrolling through social media seeing all the exciting activities your “friends” are doing. The success, the beauty, the put-togetherness, the adventures, the relationships, the babies. You lock your screen and try to continue on with what you’re actually supposed to be doing, but comparison sends you in a downward spiral.
I seem to find myself in this situation all too often. I begin thinking “maybe I should…” fill in the blank with any lofty career goal, a new city to move to, dating app to try, or diet to adhere to.
Growing up, we hit landmarks that are fairly standard and universal. We begin with rolling over, walking, and first words. Eventually we graduate to school grades, a driver’s license, and maybe college. Then the real-world hits: your closest friend gets married to her high school sweetheart, your college roommate starts her job on Wall Street, that one friend moves to Iowa for grad-school, and another friend travels the world touring with a Broadway show. Oh, and the babies. Everyone starts moving at different speeds and going in different directions. Your 20’s suddenly feel like a mad dash to figure out the entire rest of your life and you find yourself grasping at comparison as a way to measure just how well that’s going for you. And lucky for us, we have social media to help us in this endeavor!
It’s no wonder we struggle with insecurities and self-doubt. There are times I feel like I’m doing well, but then I spend five minutes on my phone and suddenly my confidence is attacked, squashed, and stomped on in the same way you’ll catch me trying to kill a cockroach in my apartment.
“Compare and despair.” “Comparison is the thief of joy.” There are so many great quotes to remind ourselves not to compare, to be confident in who we are, and to throw away self-doubt. But like many things in life — way easier said than done. So how do we practically navigate these things? Here are a couple of actions I’ve found that help me in my moments of insecurity:
PUT YOUR PHONE AWAY
The unglamorous side of social media is the fact that these apps are highly addictive. That means we keep coming back not only to the good stuff, but the bad stuff, too. Sometimes it’s healthy to have a break and set some boundaries: have a “no social media” day, have a “no phone” room in your apartment, read a book on the subway instead of checking Instagram at every stop. When I’ve set boundaries about how often I let myself check social media, my anxiety is significantly lessened, and my confidence is much more consistent. Work on cultivating a healthy relationship with technology so that it’s not the ultimate culprit of perpetuating your insecurities.
CONNECT TO YOUR BODY
I mean this in the most practical sense. Movement and exercise have proven to be so helpful to me when I’m lacking confidence. We are interconnected human beings – our mental and physical health work hand in hand. I’ve struggled with body image issues off and on since I was in middle school, and it has taken me more years than I care to admit to feel at home in my own skin (though it’s still not consistent). I took dance classes in college as a requirement for my musical theatre degree, and though I am not a dancer (oh hey, movers!), these classes forced me to connect to my body after years of running away from it. I got stronger, started to feel grounded and connected to my breath, and stopped apologizing for the space I took up in a room. The science is there to back it up, too, enough that there have been multiple TED talks about “power posing.” Movement and exercise can help us get out of our heads when we’re trapped in a comparison cycle and put our energy toward something more productive.
ROOT DOWN IN YOUR IDENTITY
I find great comfort in remembering my identity lies in the fact that I am a daughter of God, my heavenly Father. I may be messy and broken, but I am rescued and loved by God and his Son, Jesus Christ. I believe these things to be true, so when I’m struggling with a negative body image, I remember that God formed me. He sculpted me to be exactly the way I am – curly hair, round face, pale skin, flat chest, big feet, and all. When my friends are booking work and I’m doubting my skills and abilities, I remember that God gave me the strengths and weaknesses I have for a reason and for his glory. His timing is perfect. He will open and close doors and I need only trust that he makes all things work together for my good.
Navigating self-doubt and insecurities is hard. None of us do it perfectly. The truth is, we all struggle with it at some point, and to think that someone doesn’t is buying into the deceptive filter of the social media highlight-reel. But we can help each other by uplifting one another and sharing the practical ways we find security in the midst of our insecurities. What helps you when you’re feeling a lack of confidence?
Rachel Gifford is an actor, singer, writer, and producer based in New York City. She is a co-founder of Seeded Productions and Head of the Professional Branch at The HANG NYC. She is passionate about encouraging artists, exploring New York, and spreading the hope and joy of Jesus.