Finding an Attitude of Endurance in Challenging Circumstances

“Staying power is the decision to tackle life’s challenges without complaining. There’s a corresponding shift in our mindset that moves us from complaints to gratitude, disquiet to peace, darkness to light.”

Photo by Christian Lambert

I spent the summer being cautious, but still lived my life. I traveled to Maine, Massachusetts, and New Hampshire. Watched a humpback whale reveal her large, spotted tail. Felt the nausea of sea-sickness. Attempted to climb steep mountain rocks, but ended up settling for a picnic in the trunk of my car. Walked hand in hand with a loved one across the Hudson River. (Of course, all of this was while wearing a mask and trying to stay socially distanced.) However, as a teacher in the NYC public school system, I felt this nagging sense of uncertainty about what the school year would bring. 

Last March, I remember passing out English Language Arts (ELA) packets to my students because we expected to be out of the building for two weeks due to the COVID pandemic. I recall their slightly chubby faces. Their laughter. My struggling to keep their attention on a warm Friday afternoon. As I said goodbye to my eighth graders that Friday, I feared not seeing them in person again. Sadly, that became the reality. I never went back to the school building during the 2019-2020 school year. 

The sudden transition of teaching a lively, loud, passionate group of students in person to teaching via a computer screen was difficult. Not being able to see, hug, laugh with, or connect with my students so suddenly was heartbreaking for me. I remember signing onto Google Classroom and being overcome with tears because of our new normal. Teaching is a social career, and adopting a machine in the place of human connection felt completely wrong. The thought of experiencing that again was overwhelming as the summer months turned into fall, and summer vacation came to a close. Another school year under the cloud of the pandemic was approaching, and I had no idea what to expect. 

AMPLIFIED UNCERTAINTY

School years are usually met with uncertainty — not knowing fully how to prepare, not knowing which students you’re going to get — but this school year was different. Last year, educators found out last minute that we wouldn’t be returning to school. This year, I feared the same thing would happen. I tried to prepare by creating my Google classroom and looking over the curriculum in advance, but in the back of my mind I still didn’t know what to expect. What if we go back and it’s hectic? What if we don’t go back and I do all this preparation work for nothing? What if the school district waits until the last minute to tell us what’s going on? There were so many uncertainties and I started to complain constantly about the situation. They don’t know what they’re doing. They don’t care about teachers. They don’t care about us. I recognized my attitude was not pleasing to God, but I felt justified. This continued for several weeks. 

Then, we got the news. We were going back to work in person. Fear set in and more questions and doubts surfaced in my mind. What if I get COVID? Teachers were in an uproar. My Facebook feed consisted of teacher protests, and my emails were full of teacher protests. I didn’t want to go back to work in person, but should I protest? I didn’t know what I was supposed to do. As a Christian, I knew it was important to have integrity. I was physically able to return to the school building, but was that a good enough reason to go back under these circumstances? Should I protest? What about the students? They had to go back to school and needed teachers there to teach them. The situation was unchartered territory, but one Bible verse kept sticking in my mind: “Do everything without grumbling or arguing, so that you may become blameless and pure, children of God without fault in a warped and crooked generation. Then you will shine among them like stars in the sky as you hold firmly to the word of life.”

MOVING FROM COMPLAINTS TO GRATITUDE

I didn’t entertain the thought of pretending I was unable to return to school. We were given the option of deciding to work from home under a need for accommodation. The thought of switching school districts didn’t enter my mind. Staying power, for me, was more of an attitude -- a decision to accept the circumstances and honor the decisions of my superiors, even when I didn’t agree.  It became less about my desires being met and more about having a good attitude in spite of the crazy circumstances. I didn’t do this perfectly. Even upon returning to school, I still complained about New York City and its decision to open. Yet God has been gracious to me and to the thousands of teachers who decided to work during the pandemic. I haven’t given up hope, even though on some days, I’m tempted to. 

I’d love to say that the school year has been going smoothly, but that’s not the truth. A month and a half into the school year, we switched again to full-remote learning. I don’t know when we’ll return to the school building. Several of my students don’t show up to online class. There are days where I feel like my work is meaningless. Yet still, God is refining my attitude of staying power, enduring --and enduring with a good attitude-- under unfavorable circumstances. 

I won’t quit.

I won’t continue to complain. 

And when I find myself complaining, I will change. 

Staying power is the decision to tackle life’s challenges without complaining. There’s a corresponding shift in our mindset that moves us from complaints to gratitude, disquiet to peace, darkness to light. 

What challenges are you facing? How will you activate your staying power?