How to Find Beauty in Change
“I’ve come to appreciate all that autumn reflects as a season: maturity, simplicity, beauty, growth, and structure.”
Photo by Janelle Pol
Every fall my friends will hear me say, “Don’t you just love New York in the fall?
It makes me want to buy school supplies. I would send you a bouquet of newly sharpened pencils if I knew your name and address.” Whenever I say this, my friends usually respond, “Rachel, we’re your roommates; we live in the same place.”
As a kid, I despised September. September meant the end of summer. The long carefree, warm days of vacation were ending, and the rainy, structured, starting-to-get-dark-at-4pm days of the school year were my impending doom.
Something about this natural shift felt overwhelming to my little heart. I remember crying in bed at night while my sweet mom would comfort me with the reminder that if school didn’t start, we wouldn’t get to have Thanksgiving, and Christmas would never come, and this trip wouldn’t happen, and I wouldn’t get to do that activity — all the good that comes with a new season.
The truth is, I’ve never been a fan of change, and rarely do I feel like I move through it gracefully.
WHEN CHANGE IS HARD
Change, it seems, is easier for some than others.
As I sat under the authority of wise parents and had some superhero teachers who taught me to love learning, I’ve cultivated a healthy relationship with change.
I’ve learned to make change my “buddy” rather than my enemy as I’ve cozied up to the idea of seasons. I’ve accepted that it’s natural for priorities to change depending on your season of life, and that it is always okay to reassess those priorities.
I also can’t help chuckling at God’s sense of humor as I look at the irony of my life now, living as an actor in NYC — one of the most unconventional and ever-changing lifestyles I could have possibly ended up in.
And now I actually miss school and autumn is my favorite season of the year. Who am I?!
EMBRACING GROWING PAINS
I’ve come to appreciate all that autumn reflects as a season: maturity, simplicity, beauty, growth, and structure.
Back in April, I told a friend I had changed a lot over quarantine.
As more normal life was beginning to resume, I felt like a totally different person, and feared it was not for the better. But my friend calmly responded, “You haven’t changed, Rachel. You’ve matured. Maturing comes through hardships, and if this year has been anything, it’s been hard and painful.”
Growth doesn’t happen without growing pains.
Nature in autumn speaks directly to this point. Leaves fall in preparation for new blossoms – but we love New York in the fall because the changing leaves are beautiful.
Do you remember getting physical growing pains as a kid? Oh my, I remember them vividly. The body aches are so weird and uncomfortable, and yet they are often greeted with celebration. Your grown-up probably handed you some Tylenol with a smile and said, “Somebody’s getting taller!”
While the growing pains of life are not always a reason to celebrate, it is important to remember to meet them with grace.
It is perfectly normal to experience growing pains — perhaps you are maturing emotionally, mentally, or spiritually — and it is perfectly okay if you are fumbling your way through them.
Join the club! I’ve yet to meet anyone going through a season of change looking and feeling red carpet ready.
RECOGNIZE WHAT’S UNCHANGING
Ecclesiastes is one of my favorite books of the Bible. I always feel so understood in my messy human nature when I read it. Even more, I’m comforted that the writer recognizes seasons.
Ecclesiastes 3 talks about there being a time for everything, and as I’ve matured, I’ve learned to embrace this wholeheartedly. Seasons, change, and growing pains all point me to the beauty and hope I have in Jesus, who “is the same yesterday and today and forever.”
Since God’s goodness, faithfulness, and perfect character are unchanging, I can surrender everything to him — the good, the bad, and the ugly — through every season with the assurance that God will ultimately take care of me.
Even Tom Hanks and Meg Ryan go through individual seasons of growing pains and change in the movie You’ve Got Mail. Their mistakes, downfalls, growth, and maturing are what make it such a funny, sad, and beautiful story. (It’s my favorite movie of all time. I quote it incessantly. Can’t find something in my purse? “Uhhh, where are my Tic Tacs?!?!” Can’t decide what coffee to order? “Tall. Decaf. Cappuccino!”)
So, as autumn approaches, I’ll leave you with this note of encouragement: we need not fear change.
As you begin to see the changing leaves, new backpacks, ever-earlier sunsets, and warmer coats, take a deep breath and let these things remind you that there is beauty in change. You can welcome this season with surrender, grace, and a bouquet of newly sharpened pencils.
Rachel Gifford is an actor, singer, writer, and producer based in New York City. She is a co-founder of Seeded Productions and Head of the Professional Branch at The HANG NYC. She is passionate about encouraging artists, exploring New York, and spreading the hope and joy of Jesus.