When You Need Breakthrough

Photo by Rob Laughter

Raise your hand if you like being weak.

Bueller? Bueller? Anyone? Yeah, same here.

I don’t like being needy, or desperate for that matter. I think most of us in this city would agree. As New Yorkers we pride ourselves on hard work, busyness, intellect, and making something out of nothing. We come to New York City with a dream, and use our resources to make that dream happen.

Desperation reached a new level when I moved to NYC after college to pursue my aspiration of being a Broadway performer. Instead of my dreams coming true, as they seemed to do swiftly for my friends, I had two years of audition rejections and continued financial strain while working five jobs.

LEARNING TO CRY OUT

However, I am grateful I grew up in a household that learned to cry out in desperation to Jesus when our funds dried up. We experienced countless financial miracles — money in our mailbox, college tuitions paid for, a free trip to NYC, and anonymously paid-for shopping trips.

And so, I prayed week after week, month after month, for Jesus to provide a theatre job that lasted longer than two weeks. As time went on my prayers became: “God, do you hear me?” “Are my prayers hitting a ceiling?” “What more can I do?” “Is this how it will always be?”  “Are you holding out on me?”

Then one day, on a retreat out of the city, I realized I needed to stop all my doing, ask Jesus to restore my joy, and trust him to turn around my situation. I could rest in knowing God was in control.

SEEING THE RESULTS

In the next two weeks I was invited, out of the blue, to three different auditions. I was offered all three salaried performing jobs within a week — covering the lead in the broadway tour of Anything Goes, the lead in the royal Caribbean production of Chicago, and the Radio City Rockettes. I took the first job.

Now when I feel desperate for breakthrough again, I am reminded God doesn’t hold out on me to tease me. Every premature no will lead to his perfect yes.

God will hear your prayers of desperation, too, and will respond. Even when you don’t get breakthrough after a week, a month, or even a year, know that he hears you. Don’t stop asking. Trust that he will answer.

Have you considered crying out to God to show up?