4 Questions to Consider to Find Fulfillment in Your Pursuits
“It’s important to give ourselves permission to define success on our own terms and to have an idea of how we experience satisfaction as a result.”
Photo by Hannah Olinger
I’ve found it’s easy to work or volunteer in roles that don't necessarily fill my “cup” but help fill the time. Maybe you have, too. Sometimes we fall into jobs or activities that we didn’t necessarily seek out, but at some point, we need to evaluate whether or not those pursuits leave us fulfilled.
Somewhere in our 20s and 30s we typically start to assess if our job or the major activities in our lives are satisfying.
It’s okay not to know what your purpose is in a specific season of your life. Sometimes we don’t realize our purpose in one season until we’ve moved to the next.
Here are a few thoughts I recommend considering when you are pondering your purpose and what you truly love to do. As you think through these questions, remember it requires flexibility, adaptability, and being willing to consider new ideas. Keep an open mind when you consider if your activities line up with your values.
Do I feel a sense of anticipation when I think about what I’m doing?
If you experience a sense of excitement thinking about what you’re doing and where you’re headed, that’s a great feeling! Being happy to work on a specific project or towards a goal is one of the main reasons we pursue hobbies or careers. Finding something you truly enjoy is wonderful. Getting paid for it is an added bonus.
However, if you find yourself dreading what you are doing, it may be time to consider if this part of your life needs restructuring. If it’s your job that you don’t enjoy but you’re unable to change it right now, perhaps it can be seen as a way to provide a stable income while you pursue your passions outside of work.
As you think about what is meaningful for you, identify what qualities of your work help you feel fulfilled, and those that don’t meet that criterion.
Do I intuitively know what my career purpose is?
I found myself asking this question after graduate school. Having finished my master’s degree in counseling, I was unable to find an entry-level position in counseling. I needed full licensure but that would take several years working in a counseling job. It was a chicken and egg situation, and at times, it became very discouraging.
I found an administrative assistant job that I held for over two years, which helped with living expenses and to pay back student loans.
Eventually, I found a counseling job. It took a lot of patience and believing I would eventually work in the field for which I’d trained. The administrative job I held during that time taught me valuable skills that I use as a counselor.
No experience is wasted. Sometimes, we just don’t always know how it will benefit us until much later.
Identify the purpose in your day job. It may be a way to provide the stability you need to pursue your life passion outside of it. If so, work on identifying what purpose each role has.
What helps me feel fulfilled at the end of the day, week, month, year?
Knowing what helps you feel fulfilled can often be a long, winding journey to figure out, and it will likely change during different seasons of your life. You may have known what you wanted to do with your life since you were a child. You may have discovered it as an adult. Or you may still be figuring it out.
When our career doesn’t live up to our expectations, we can feel unfulfilled. If your job doesn’t provide satisfaction, perhaps your personal relationships and your activities outside of work can bring the contentment you need.
Or maybe you need to make a change. Be open to change, believe it needs to happen, and that it is possible. It requires mindfulness and a willingness to ask yourself what type of fulfillment you are looking for from your life decisions.
How do I define success?
I’ve learned that success can mean different things to different people. One of the most common assumptions people make about career success is that it is tied to the amount of money earned.
For some who choose careers that are not lucrative, success can mean experiencing emotional satisfaction knowing that you helped make someone else’s life a little better that day. Or it might mean advancing a cause you believe strongly in regardless of the paycheck.
For others, success might mean you are devoted to serving your community or that you place a high value in investing in your personal relationships.
It’s important to give ourselves permission to define success on our own terms and to have an idea of how we experience satisfaction as a result.
Spend time this month working through these questions.
Carleen “Carly” Graham is a licensed professional counselor in northern New Jersey. She holds a Master of Arts in Biblical counseling from Dallas Theological Seminary. She currently provides counseling services to women who are walking through postpartum depression, infertility, miscarriage, and infant loss. She and her husband Jonathan live in New Jersey with their two sons.