A Go-To Reference for Loving Well and Living Well
“If we view 1 Corinthians 13 and its teaching on love through a daily practical lens, maybe, just maybe it wouldn’t be the go-to Scripture we only read at weddings. It would be our go-to reference for living life well, every day.”
Photo by Janelle Pol
Have you ever noticed that a certain chapter from the Bible is always read at weddings? It’s the 13th chapter of the book of 1 Corinthians.
The guests are told to be seated and a family member or close family friend steps up to the podium, flips to the passage, clears their throat, and outcome those first words, "Love is patient, love is kind.”
Maybe it’s just me, but I can’t help but laugh (inwardly, I might add) every time.
Can I be honest? It’s a bit of a letdown. Whenever I am a guest at a wedding ceremony, the anticipation builds for me as I wonder if this time, maybe this time, the bride and groom have chosen a different Scripture. My ears tune in and I physically lean in with anticipation. When I hear the same words that I heard at the last wedding, all I can do is chuckle and think “I knew it.”
I got so jaded about it that I started considering 1 Corinthians 13 to be a bit of a cliche. Do you ever feel that about Scriptures? Perhaps you’ve heard them thrown around by people who took them out of context, or their actions didn’t match the words they were quoting. It can turn you off to the beauty in Scripture.
You know the feeling I’m talking about.
I remember thinking a while back that I would never want 1 Corinthians 13 to be read at my wedding because I’d like to do something original. I felt that way until I came to discover that this particular scripture actually isn’t just about marriage or romantic relationships.
LOVE FOR ANY RELATIONSHIP
The love described in these verses is a type of love that should be found in any relationship or interaction we have, not only with our partners or spouses, but also with our family, friends, neighbors, coworkers, and even strangers that we pass on the street.
In the first few verses of 1 Corinthians 13, Paul, Jesus’ apostle, tells us that if we do anything without love — even if it’s the greatest achievement in the world, like curing cancer or ending world hunger — we are nothing and gain nothing. Talk about a heart check.
Okay, so if this is a love that should be found within all our relationships and not just marriage, what does it look like outside of the marriage context? Let’s look to verses 4-7 to give us some clarity:
“Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.”
Love is patient: This could mean choosing to respect and not push someone’s physical boundaries if they say they want to wait on any sexual activity.
Love is kind: This could look like choosing to listen when someone has a very different, perhaps even difficult opinion or belief from our own. Instead of trying to prove that person is wrong and that we’re in the right, we can choose to seek understanding and clarity so we can learn from one another.
Love does not envy: It could mean choosing to be happy and celebrate with someone when they get a promotion or an engagement ring, or finish paying off their debt. It might mean seeing them as inspiration to go after what we want instead of subconsciously tearing them down so that we can feel better about ourselves. It might involve making a conscious choice to be content in what we do or don’t have.
Love does not dishonor others: We could decide not to participate in gossip or complaining about that coworker everyone is having a hard time working with.
Five years ago, a mentor and friend of mine urged me to replace the word “love” with my own name in 1 Corinthians 13:4-7. I jumped with excitement at the exercise. “Putting my name in Scripture? This is cool,” I thought to myself. She paused and kept her eyes on my face as I read. I felt my smile fading and my excitement turning into dread.
“Can this be said about you?” she asked.
Yikes.
Half those things could not be said about me. I was immediately overwhelmed as I sat with all the ways I was falling short regarding God’s standard of love. But there was and is good news for all of us.
LOVE FOR OUR DAILY LIVES
Forgiveness is available for wherever we fall short. Learning to love in the ways we’re shown in 1 Corinthians 13 is possible with Jesus. Jesus gives us the strength to love in a radical and self-giving way that we’ve never experienced before. It starts with believing in him and submitting to him as our Lord and Savior on a daily basis, and asking for the power of the Holy Spirit to help us apply what we read in the Bible to our daily lives.
If we view 1 Corinthians 13 and its teaching on love through a daily practical lens, maybe, just maybe it wouldn’t be the go-to Scripture we only read at weddings. It would be our go-to reference for living life well, every day.
Don’t be afraid to take the same assessment I did. Plug your name into 1 Corinthians 13:4-7 this week. Read it over. Be honest. Can these things be said about you? Ask a trusted friend to be lovingly honest with you. If your life isn’t reflected well in those verses, what areas may you need to work on? (We all have a few!) As you identify the area(s), ask Jesus to help you.
This article is the third part of a series on loving well. Read part one: A Lesson on Learning to Receive Love and part two: Discovering a Love that Holds Nothing Back here.
Born and raised in the Bronx, Bria lived in New York City for 26 years before recently moving to Philadelphia. She works remotely for the Vermont-based, Population Media Center, an international nonprofit implementing entertainment-education to improve the rights of women and girls and environmental sustainability. Outside of work, she can frequently be found traveling, spending time with family and friends, working out, enjoying a good glass of wine, and seeking to understand how to deepen her love and knowledge of God.