Breaking Down the Barrier to Love
As a native New Yorker, I can admit that living in this city can be hard sometimes. There seems to be an unspoken mandate to protect yourself from everybody and everything and develop a thick skin. A ‘trust no one” mentality seems to be the default setting for a lot of us. As a result, I learned quickly to set barriers with everyone, including family, even going so far as to cut certain people out of my life or put distance into some relationships.
However, it was not just New York City that made me toughen up, but the way I was brought up at home and a particular incident at an early age. My sister and I are 11 months apart. Being so close in age, we were treated like twins. We were dressed alike on many occasions and even shared birthday parties. When I was a child, I didn’t realize my sister and I were born in different months.
BEING HURT BY SOMEONE WE LOVE
My mother loved taking photos of us and filming us on her 90’s-era camcorder. There is one photo of my sister and me holding each other when we were toddlers, smiling in our matching multi-color 90’s fashion. My mom loves that it’s always displayed in our home, but I, on the other hand, remember the moments leading up to that photo, and they don’t leave a smile on my face. I remember a difficult moment with my sister, and how my mother asked us to make up and hug each other. Instead, my sister started to cry, saying she didn’t want to hug me. I remember the feeling of betrayal and hurt. I didn’t realize that in that moment a seed was planted that would change our relationship.
If someone as close to me as a sister could turn on me so quickly, what’s the point of going “all in” in a relationship, only to have my heart broken? This one thought put up a barrier that took years to come down — not just between my sister and me, but my family and friends too.
LEARNING TO LOVE AGAIN
The wall I set in place to protect my heart from being hurt also kept me from truly loving people. But I know that my faith calls me to forgive and to love unconditionally; God tells people to “love each other as I have loved you.” This verse reminds me to love people past the hurt and the pain.
I do know that things began to change when I followed God’s instruction. I believe in Jesus to heal my heart and help me love people, even when the love isn’t returned. I continue to pray for wisdom and discernment when it comes to opening my heart. But I know that I am free to love others because I am unconditionally loved by God.
Where have you built barriers because you have been hurt? What walls have you built that might be stopping you from giving and receiving love? Is it time to break them down?
Sarah is a native New Yorker. She is an artist within different mediums. Sarah currently works as a Jewelry Stylist. Her favorite borough is Brooklyn as it is full of creatives and churches.