Finding Reasons to Move Forward Expectantly
“2020 has changed life as we know it. One good outcome that can arise from those changes is that we are hopefully open to new ideas, activities, circumstances, and more that we wouldn’t have thought of or considered before.”
Photo by Janelle Pol
The concept of hope fascinates me, especially in terms of discovering exactly what it is and what keeps it alive. One of my first introductions to the definition of hope was a statement in the Bible that says hope is something you cannot see, but you wait for expectantly. I also like to clarify ideas and words by looking them up in the dictionary. (Thanks, Mom, for having me do this growing up, even though I hated it.) Webster states that hope is wanting something to happen or be true.
I have often wondered how we can wait expectantly or maintain hope that something will happen when it is so easy to lose hope due to the brokenness and hurt in this world. Too many times I have lost hope about a dream that I’ve had for my life. Sometimes that dream was realized later, sometimes it never came true, and sometimes the dream changed.
WHEN LIFE SEEMS HOPELESS
There have been many times in the past when I’ve felt hopeless and alone. Living far away from my parents, siblings, and best friend during grad school (over ten years ago) was one of the longest periods of time I’ve felt this way. It was good for me in that I learned how to operate independently, but boy, was it hard. The hopeless feelings I experienced during that time were often intertwined with loneliness. There were many times when I wondered how it felt to hope for anything. That’s really when my interest in the idea of hope started. I realized that hope is a motivator.
In my work as a therapist, I’ve seen firsthand how maintaining hope, or losing it, has a tremendous impact on a person’s ability to heal, or not heal, emotionally. I’ve been amazed by the resilience of my clients who have suffered through much trauma. There are good reasons why some individuals come through different traumas to lead a fulfilling life. Some of my clients have stated they were in treatment to get better for their spouse, their children, or their financial future. My favorite response is when clients tell me their motivation is for themselves – that they are worth it and they want to always try to be better, even if their efforts are occasionally stalled by life events and triggers. But isn’t that the key to moving forward in general in life? To keep moving forward somehow, hopefully in a way that enables you to heal and look forward to life expectantly.
HOLD ONTO WHAT’S GOOD
2020 has been one of the most unusual years I’ve experienced in a long time. I’m sure many of you can agree. How can we hold on to hope instead of thinking of the future with despair and discouragement? When I am tempted to feel hopeless, I consciously remind myself of the many times in the past year I’ve been surprised with good things. Completely unexpected positive things that my overly practical self would have doubted have filled me with feelings of awe. One of the clearest examples I can think of is meeting my husband. I hadn’t completely given up on meeting a spouse, but I certainly was running low on hopeful expectations. I felt overwhelmed at the idea of meeting someone who would be a good fit for me. Needless to say, when it did happen, I was surprised.
Looking ahead, enjoying time with my husband and two young sons, as well as anticipating my next career move, are the things that I feel most hopeful about as we move into 2021. I’m hopeful about the joy that comes from raising our two sons. This joy is amplified with gratefulness due to our past struggle with infertility and miscarriage. We didn’t know if we would have children, and we feel incredibly blessed to now have two. Being able to teach them, share stories with them, and surround them with love are truly blessings that I look forward to continuing long into the future. Another thing I feel hopeful about is continuing to establish a community with friends from church and in our neighborhood. We enjoy having people over and spending quality time with folks.
Find at least one reason, and hopefully more, in your own life to look forward to 2021 with hope. 2020 has changed life as we know it. One good outcome that can arise from those changes is that we are hopefully open to new ideas, activities, circumstances, and more that we wouldn’t have thought of or considered before.
Carly Graham is a licensed professional counselor in northern New Jersey. She holds a Bachelor of Science degree in communication studies from James Madison University and a Master of Arts in Biblical counseling from Dallas Theological Seminary. She and her husband Jonathan live in New Jersey with their two sons.