Leading isn’t Always About Being in Front
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[Leadership] it’s about embracing our littleness, trusting and having confidence in God’s leading, and elevating others as we do.”
Photo by Janelle Pol
I am a successful running coach — a leader, of sorts, within my local running community. I write this here with a little pride, but more so, with anxiety. This anxiety is no doubt rooted in anticipated Google searches and, scarier yet, Instagram page visits that might identify me as a runner and running coach, but not at any renowned level. “What sort of successful leader has so few followers?” I hear a slew of hypothetical voices ask, cueing the imposter syndrome that lurks within me to chatter in agreement.
But despite what Instagram-fueled insecurities might have us believe, our success as leaders is not defined by the number of followers we have, but rather by who we follow. In her autobiography, The Story of a Soul, St. Thérèse of Lisieux writes, “God would never inspire me with desires which cannot be realized; so in spite of my littleness, I can hope to be a saint.” Ironically, St. Thérèse became a saint not in spite of, but because of her littleness. Her life and her writings epitomize a simple path to sainthood: she recognized her desire was from God, turned her heart with confidence toward him, and trusted him to realize her desires in his name.
The word simple above can be read in air quotes. I’ve always struggled with the concept of simplicity in its own right, let alone in relationship to leadership or, even more so, sainthood. I’m competitive, neurotic, intense, and gritty when I need to be. All of this might explain my passion for running and racing, but my newfound understanding and appreciation for simplicity? Perhaps not so much.
The thing is, while I gravitated toward NYC for its oh-so notorious competitive grind, I embraced running as a means to escape it. I loved that the more I ran, the faster and more efficient I became at running, and the further I could go. On long runs down the East River to the base of Manhattan, then up the Hudson River, I’d imagine myself flying or floating around the chaos within the city’s grid. And when I’d run over the Queensboro or Williamsburg Bridge, I’d imagine myself winged and airborne above it. It wasn’t that I was escaping reality, but creating some temporary distance in my mind, heart, and body so that when I went back into the daily grind, I could appreciate it and myself within it a little bit more. In many ways running became a form of prayer for me, a way to still my mind, open my heart, and let it beat fast and free. “God, I’m running for your heart…until I am a soul on fire,” Third Day sings, and that is exactly how running made me feel.
FINDING A LITTLE LEADERSHIP WITHIN A BIG COMMUNITY
My evolution from a runner to a running coach wasn’t an instant one, but it was a simple one. I had days when I ran faster or felt stronger than others, and days when my body resisted running more, but my heart was always in it. I’ve never been one to bully or bribe someone who has zero interest in running to try it, but I found myself encouraging coworkers, classmates, and family members with tiny semblances of a desire to run to embrace it in their own time, coaching them along the way.
When I first felt the desire to become an actual running coach, I met it with the same not-so-simple and not-so-saintlike doubt and disorder that I described above. Hypothetical voice after hypothetical voice urged me to consider the fact that I wasn’t special, that there were already enough coaches — great ones — in the world and even in my community, and that I wouldn’t be good at it. But another voice spoke louder.
During my Road Runners Club of America (RRCA) certification course, one of our instructors advised, “Don’t look to go into competition with the running community; instead, look to fill a void within it.” This was both my “aha” moment and confirmation I was in the right place and on the right path. Recognizing my desires were from God and empowered by the new skills he inspired me to seek, I am proud of my little leadership position within the gigantic running community. I’ve learned through coaching that leading isn’t always about being in front. While you do find yourself in front sometimes -- I’m grateful to lead a group of runners every week through a class series I created at our local gym called Cadence — it is not about being in first place or ahead of the most people. More often, it’s about embracing our littleness, trusting and having confidence in God’s leading, and elevating others as we do.
Though she currently resides in Troy, Michigan, Maria lived in NYC for eight years, training and working as an actor before pursuing her master's in creative writing from Fordham University. Beyond acting and writing, Maria finds joy in running, coaching runners, strong black coffee, and the hoppiest of craft beers. Follow her on IG - @run_hoppy