Moving Beyond Idealism into My Feminine Identity
“I find myself craving the feeling of being chosen, fought for, rescued, and whisked away in the safety of the arms of new, true love.”
Photo by Emily Fletke Photography
With the new blessing that is Disney+, we’ve all been able to stream every last one of our favorite childhood classics. It’s also been an opportunity to be introduced to new characters that we may have missed along the way or that adulthood told us weren’t relevant to us any more. Or - let’s admit it - just stream Hamilton over and over. I have to say that all 29 of my years still love the old faithfuls. I’ve enjoyed having immediate access to Beauty and the Beast, Cinderella, Snow White, and all the other princesses that have a “happily ever after” with a valiant prince on a white steed.
I noticed as I’m engulfed in these timeless narratives, I suspend my current reality that is singleness. I find myself craving the feeling of being chosen, fought for, rescued, and whisked away in the safety of the arms of new, true love. The softness that overcomes me is a stark difference from the hard, outer shell that I normally wear in order to guard my heart. I know it’s important to guard my heart and not make decisions driven strictly by emotions. But I wonder if I’ve taken my chosen demeanor too far. There’s beauty in a quiet, gentle spirit that trusts they are loved.
FANTASTICAL NARRATIVES AND BIG DREAMS
Growing up, I never believed in Santa Claus, the Easter Bunny, or the Tooth Fairy. My father was insistent that I knew better. To quote him, “Ain’t no fat, white man coming down my chimney. Me and your mother worked hard for these gifts.” My father is huge on respect and honesty. He didn’t see the sense of embracing fantastical narratives that he deemed unnecessary to my overall development. And, knowing that I’d eventually grow out of these childhood beliefs at some point anyway, he wasn’t interested in cultivating that naiveté.
On the whole, I’m very grateful that I never had to deal with what can be the brutal transition from reindeers with red noses and egg-laying bunnies to reality. There are times, though, when I realize that I can be so focused on reality that my heart is calloused to big dreams that I think aren’t pragmatic and/or realistic. Being an actor does help.
Knowing that I am created to indulge in other worlds different from my own has helped to make the muscle of my imagination extremely powerful. Still, I can’t ignore the tenderness I feel when watching 90-minute idealistic love stories. But are they just idealistic? Is there an ounce of reality in them? Why do they so readily affect me?
A FAITHFUL AND TRUE KNIGHT
Reality (or at least my attempts to reinstate reality) quickly rushes in as the credits roll. I say things like, “Must be nice.” Or “Nyla, don’t go down that rabbit hole. That is a movie. It doesn’t happen that way.” I understand that there is passionate, conditional, temporal, worldly love out there, and I understand that it happens between two flawed human beings. But the truth is that even in my singleness, I am already seen, heard, and chosen. I have been fought for, rescued and will one day be whisked away in the safety of the arms of an eternal love. Oh, and by the way: the valiant prince on a white steed did not originate in the Disney classics.
Revelation 19:11-16 tells us, “Then I saw Heaven open wide - and oh! a white horse and its Rider. The Rider, named Faithful and True…The armies of Heaven, mounted on white horses and dressed in dazzling white linen, follow him.”
The original Prince Charming is the Prince of Peace. Remembering this not only brings me back to Jesus, but it also resets my expectations of my potential husband to more appropriate heights. I am already wholly, unconditionally, and abundantly loved, and so are you. Let us dive into the love of Jesus, the real prince on a white horse, and find the fullness of our identity as princesses and queens in him. Then we will know the richness of true love.
Giving all glory to God, Nyla Watson is a dedicated performer in the New York City music theater community and a recent grad of New York University (NYU) where she received her Masters in Music Theater Voice (c/o 2020). Nyla is also so excited to be signing her first NYC lease in Crown Heights after residing in NYC since 2014! She attributes her success to her faith, her parents, her education and her professional and personal influences. Acts 4:7- 12. www.queennyla.com