How to Protect Your Heart When You're Looking for Love
“Protect yo heart.” Most of us have seen this slogan stenciled on a sidewalk or in a subway terminal. These words struck me hard the first time I read them, and I remember asking myself, “How?”
I’ve never been good at protecting my heart. In fact, when I first saw this phrase, my heart was somewhere in London with an Irishman who repeatedly told me, “I don’t love you yet.” Despite his confidence that we wouldn’t work out, I’d keep shipping my heart overseas only to have it sent back to me, labeled fragile, but nonetheless broken.
Like many, I sought after true love. And I felt destined to find it in the form of some against-all-odds fairytale. So, relationship after relationship, I’d craft narratives around could-be costars to my life’s quirky dark comedy. And relationship after relationship, these narratives would plot twist against my will, leaving me dejected and ultimately jaded.
NOT SETTLING FOR SECOND BEST
Jade, as we know, is a type of stone. And stones dropped into water and left untouched will sink downward and eventually settle. That’s where I almost found myself a few years later: settled with someone I considered a decent companion rather than the soulmate I’d hoped for. Surely, I thought, this was what it meant to protect my heart.
Some people say jade possesses properties that support our healing, cleansing, and opening our hearts so that they can give and receive love. Perhaps this is what musician Dan Schutte imagined when he wrote the lyrics, “I will break their hearts of stone, give them hearts for love alone”. Except I think the songwriter pictured Jesus breaking our jaded hearts, freeing them to give and receive the love God intended.
I am grateful that my heart never fully settled. Once unjaded, God showed me that the true love I sought wasn’t make-believe. He helped me realize that finding it wasn’t a matter of casting my story’s romantic lead, but of letting his Spirit serve as my story’s main author.
LETTING GOD SHIELD AND LEAD
This December, I’ll walk down the aisle to marry someone my heart only opened to once I let go of my self-imposed boundaries and gave God creative control of my narrative. I’ll say “I do” with a heart more protected than ever before: not armored in stone, but instead, cloaked in God’s love.
Before writing this, I learned that “protect yo heart” was created by local artist Uncutt Art and inspired by Proverbs 4:23: “Above all else, guard your heart, for everything you do flows from it.” And if I could answer my younger self’s question of how do we protect our hearts while seeking love, I’d say, “We hold our hearts as our own, and trust that God is holding them as his, too.” If we try to shield ourselves from heartbreak, we’ll grow calloused. If we let God shield us, he’ll guide our broken hearts toward the souls they’re destined to find.