When We Struggle to Have it All Together

Photo by Janelle Pol

Have you heard of the term the Sunday Scaries? It is a light-hearted way of putting into words the anxiety you feel Sunday night about your return to work in the morning. Let me paint you a picture. You had a really long week: maybe you got stuck in train traffic, your coffee spilled on your new white blouse, or you hit a couple of rough patches with your boss. You were really ready for the weekend. It finally came… but then you blinked and it was over! That’s when you hit the Sunday Scaries.

I have been stuck in that mindset for quite some time, where fear turns into anxiety and anxiety turns into the hopelessness of what the future might bring. It is like a never-ending battle in your mind and questions cloud your thoughts, like, “Why did I move out here? Is this even my dream job? Am I stuck here forever, or am I living my life to the fullest and with purpose?” 

One thought that has been hard for me to overcome is that everyone around me has it all together, while I am nowhere close to where I want to be. But the truth is, while we may have our bad days that turn into weeks and possibly even months, they won't last forever like we might think. 

I would be lying if I said I never looked at everyone around me and thought to myself, “Wow, look at her. We’re about the same age; she has it all together and I don't.” 

CHANGING COMPARISON TO ADMIRATION

But we need to remember that if comparison was hard it wouldn't come so naturally to us. The problem with comparison is where it lands us. We either find ourselves “below” someone, which can bring jealousy and feelings of insecurity, or “above” or “ahead of” someone else, leading to pride. Neither is a healthy place to be.

It is so easy to live your life and constantly compare yourself to the women beside you. I bet you a lifetime’s worth of coffee that if you were to ask every woman who seems as though she has it all together, she would probably disagree. Outward appearances can be deceiving.

There is a difference between admiration and comparison. We can admire the women beside us who are reaching their goals, and be encouraged by their success. There can be many trials and tough seasons, but enduring through them means that we care about our dreams and our purpose. What happens when we are barely coping, when pressing turns into crushing? We prevail with tenacity because we can only flourish from there. 

GROWING IN THE HARD PLACES

Trust me when I say we can only grow from those hard places. Get excited, because if it is tough right now, it will not last forever, and you are one season closer to your dream.

The days where we are planning and dreaming for the future are the days we need to hold onto the tightest, because there will be days where those dreams and goals seem just like background noise. 

I find it most helpful to write my dreams down. Why did you move to NYC in the first place? What is this driven and purposeful vision you see for yourself? What is your why?